The Equinox snuck up on me, as embarrassing as that sounds. A student, who knew that I talked about the solar calendar a bit, made the comment “and next week is the beginning of spring.”
“Is it the equinox already?” I was genuinely surprised. I’d been putting off so much as I tried to get a few personal projects fully completed. (Projects which, to be honest, would never be fully complete. I have to accept that.)
There was a lot I wanted to do before this ritual. I wanted to learn at least a few phrases of secular Latin, to use in rituals. Aside from a few hours with my textbooks during the family vacation, nothing got done.
I wanted to start decorating my altar with seasonal plants, after really liking the way it looked with some found mistletoe. That didn’t happen (and it took me a while to clear away the mistletoe.)
In fact, I found myself weirdly lethargic about my spirituality as the equinox approached, a feeling I know from running — the more days go by without a run, the harder it is to get myself to put on my shoes and go, regardless of how good it will make me feel.
However, that’s a feeling I know — from running again — and I started collecting Omens. From my tree, using an App, and from the ancestors using my tarot cards. The Omens seemed to be encouraging me (rather than demanding) to do the ritual.
So, yesterday I carved some time out of my schedule and cleaned up the altar. Then, rationalizing that writing out a ritual was just another form of procrastination (I didn’t want a “well, now I don’t really have the time to do it” moment), I figured it wouldn’t hurt me to do the ritual from memory. After all, it’s not my first.
That’s what I did, and I quickly felt at home in it.
I had nothing on hand to offer but some incense and praise, but I offered both (realizing that I should write about the value I get out of saying prayers out loud) and got a very encouraging omen.
I hadn’t even tried to line the ritual up with a historic Roman ritual, instead sticking with my new theme of living in tune with the solar cycle I chose to simply honor the time of balance to and to pray that the kindreds would give me the wisdom to find balance in my life, as well as the strength to pursue it and maintain it.
Finally, I wound the omen down and was already packing up when I realized that I’d forgotten to close the gates. So, of course, I did that.
Proserpina and me
With snow still on the ground, it’s hard for me to think that Proserpina has returned to Olympus. But then, if she hasn’t, I’ve resolved to be happy for Dis Pater, because its clear she’s returning.
I did ask her to serve as my gatekeeper and she remains the only God whom I feel comfortable asking anything of (though I’m thinking that Mercury, Vulcan, and Apollo are all Gods I’d like to build relationships with, as well as Diana and Minerva).
It was really embarrassing that I asked her to serve as the gatekeeper, and then I fully forgot the gates. But, I rationalize that these are the moments that form a relationship.