I’m more than a little embarassed to admit this.

One of the first things that got me interested in what I now think of as ‘esoteric thought’ was the book The Secret History of the World. I never finished it, as it got me to buy some other books (and because it wasn’t a super fun book to read).

Nonetheless, after reading a bunch of the book, I had our youngest son in my arms, screaming. One year olds can really scream, and it’s not always easy to see why they’re crying. For some reason, the book inspired me to try something. I imagined a red energy in him, which I was abble to pull into me when I inhaled (I was holding him right against me), and I tried to exhale this red, negative energy.

It wasn’t easy. It required concentration and the understanding that I had to process his red energy for him. But it worked that time, and it’s worked since.

I know how to be a skeptic. Of course I know that it’s not impossible that simply by focusing on keeping myself calm, I was no longer agitating him. After all, kids react to their parents’ emotions. (You should fight in front of a five year old if you don’t believe me.)

But, there was something I liked about it. Whether it was the chance to be active — focusing on ‘breathing away’ this red energy — where I previously felt confined to passivity.

Today, running, I tried something similar: I tried imagining myself pulling energy from the ground like a tree would. Because it required quite a bit of concentration, I tried this only during the ‘high intensity’ part of my interval training.

Results were mixed.

It was interesting. I won’t exclude it from future thoughts. But, I like the idea that there are energies I’m not tapping. That there are solutions, ways of thinking, that I haven’t yet considered.

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