So, I suppose that changing behavior is one of the hardest parts of any spiritual endeavor. Or, it has been for me. I’m a creature of habit and, in this moment of intense concentration and consideration, I can realize that I should do something differently.
Actually doing it, when I’m late for work and the kids are making it hard to get out the door, is another matter. Then, in my day-to-day, I do what I’ve always done.
For things like fitness, I’ve long used a task manager app for my phone. The one I use won’t let me remove notifications until I’m ready to mark the task as done, and it’s been a help to me.
After struggling with the idea of my relationship to the Earth, I had the insight to try making a reminder for myself. Now, every three days, I get reminded to spend a moment thinking about the Earth and my relationship to her. It’s been nice.
Often, it’s just me, sitting on the couch, staring into space. Or, maybe, laying on the floor listening to the meditation with all four elements from OBOD’s page on druid meditation (I’ve found it helpful more than once). More often than not, I’m half-frustrated at the end and don’t know if I can have a relationship to the Earth. Other times, I think I should make it a point to run somewhere green. I get some insights.
In general, it’s been a positive experience. Using the app is a bit ultra-modern, but, since I’ve started using it, I’ve found myself thinking more about my relationship with the Earth. It’s as though I have a friend who keeps bringing something up and now, at other times, I think of it myself. Driving through some of the woods around here, I’m struck with wonder as I have been before. Now, though, I find myself, unbidden, thinking “I’m supposed to have a relationship with this? Me?”
I’m not saying I’m getting more answers. I’m saying that, slowly, I’m forming habits.