I’m tempted to take a photo from the balcony to illustrate what a great, early Spring day this is. But I won’t.
The thing is, spring is really a great time to think about siblings. Probably about relationships in general. It’s been a while since I’ve written about the frustration I feel when I think about my family. And, to be honest, it’s not something I dwell on. It has been a blessing, however, to use the opportunity of the Wind Swept Moon to re-connnect with my sibllings, and to ask them if I’m crazy in the way I feel.
Just admitting the feelings, it turns out, helps a lot in easing them.
So, I took the opporutnity of this moon to write decent, heart-felt emails to each of my siblings, not allowing myself to ‘temper’ the emotion of the emails with humor. I didn’t want to seem insincere.
And, I got some great emails back. I don’t think people need to have non-stop conversations about their relationships, but it’s something that I’d let slip for too long, and it was nice to get the topic back out in the open. And it was nice to hear the ways they look up to me. I have siblings worthy of such admiration, that I don’t think of them needing to look up to anyone.
In her description of this moontide, Emma Restall Orr says this: “What would it take to improve those relationship now? Do it.” In welcoming this moontide, I remember thinking how much I liked the sound of that. There’s a no-excuses tone to it. Now, though, as I’m looking back on my attempts, I feel like they’ve been too feeble. The sibling I most want to reconnect with hasn’t answered (and I don’t have his phone number, that’s the kind of relationship we have. Moment of honesty: I’m afraid to ask my mother for his number, as I don’t want to feel like I have to ‘report back’ on the call when it’s done.) and I don’t know if I should be more adamant.
The simple words “do it” seem so full of power, authority. But the question they follow, “what would it take to improve those relationships?” The answers there aren’t clear. I hope it’s enough that I want to improve them, thant I fumble about in the dark trying to improve them.