This is not yet a completed thought. However, I found myself pondering whether I was putting too much work into ‘being myself’ by which I mean ‘living in tune with how I’m supposed to live.’ (That includes things like living with the seasons, or trying to figure out what — and how — my body is meant to eat and eating in accordance with it).

After all, doesn’t the body just know what it needs and how to do it?

I don’t have a good answer for that. I mean, I can point to social pressure, towards habits built over time, towards ingrained attitudes learnt from well-meaning parents. On top of that, there’s the fact that many of our evolutionary impulses no longer serve us well (we don’t have to eat all the food we can, because we can literally get enough food to kill us).

Maybe, on the other hand, we’re meant to eat ourselves to death in times of abundance, as a means of population control? Seems absurd, but it’s the kind of thought that I have.

So, I#m having a crisis of confidence. I don’t know whether I should work this hard at being ‘authentic’ or simply learn to question why I’m doing things. Am I doing this in compliance with some sort of social norm? Or am I doing this because it’s what my body needs right now? Can I imagine my cave-dwelling forefathers doing something similar? How would hat have looked?

What do you think? Am I making myself crazy unnecessarily? How do you approach the right level of effort to invest in just trying to figure out how to live, much less living that way? How important is it to at least be able to merge onto the freeway of society when it takes you where you want to go, and how important is it to be inflexible and determined in what you do?


2 thoughts on “Why it’s work to be yourself

  1. Very good questions. I often have similar ones myself. But I hear the voice of Bruce Lee coming through: “feel, don’t think.” The heart has access to a higher order of intuition. It transcends duality. How to live or not live? How to be. Not to be. The heart says simply Be. Here. Now…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That sounds so good, but it’s very hard for me to implement. Partly because I’ve trained myself to compulsively do things (drink, eat snacks) that I know I DON’T want to do, whenever I’m not sure what I DO want to do.

      It’s hard to peel back the layers of compulsions to get at what I really do feel.

      Liked by 1 person

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